HOW EFT UnderstandS “Negative” Emotions
An Emotion-Focused Perspective on The Evolutionary Function Of Difficult Emotions
If you ever work with me, you’re going to hear me use the word “functional”, that’s for sure. It’s one of my many little quirks, I guess. I don’t usually like to call things “bad” or “good”, “negative” or “positive”. For me, all things have “functions” and I like to understand what those functions are.
This is especially true when it comes to anxiety, sadness, or anger. As a therapist grounded in an Emotion-Focused perspective, I will refer to these particular feelings as “difficult” rather than “negative” for the rest of this post.
When I say that these emotions are functional, I mean that they have a job to do. We can figure out what that job is by learning a little bit of evolutionary science.
An evolutionary explanation for difficult feelings
It's pretty simple: our difficult emotions evolved because they offered specific survival benefits to prior generations of human beings (Pinel & Barnes, 2021). Think of them as tools that have helped us navigate the complexities of our social and physical environments for millennia. For instance, neuroticism—often viewed negatively—can actually be linked to higher motivation (Judge & Ilies, 2002). This heightened sense of vigilance and drive can be crucial in addressing potential threats or challenges.
In the grand scheme of things, natural selection has shaped our emotional systems in ways that may not always be immediately obvious. For example, when I neurotically analyze a relationship in my life, it’s tempting to say that I’m “just being crazy”. But that would technically be incorrect. Ultimately, my survival depends upon the health of my relationships; that’s deep evolutionary coding. My worry is functional. It has a job to do.
How Emotion-Focused Therapy Works With Difficult Emotions
So, you decided to go to therapy because you struggle with difficult emotions. That’s totally valid. Therapy— especially EFT— could help you allow these feelings to complete the work they are meant to do. There’s a difference between processing an emotion and getting stuck in it; therapy could teach you this difference.
A good starting point is to reframe your difficult emotions not as flaws to be fixed, but as potential sources of motivation and insight. By shifting the perspective from one of shame to one of understanding, you can start to get the benefits your sadness, anger, and fear are designed to deliver. They are meant to heal and guide you, not just cause you trouble.
Additionally, learning to express and process difficult emotions within your relationships and communities is transformative. This expression might look different depending on your cultural context. Anything from intimate conversations or traditional practices like sweat lodges or church services could fit the bill. For me, dancing and sharing music with other people is a significant way to heal.
